Tentang Kemarin yang Ditulis Hari ini

Ilustrasi: laritelanjang.net

Entah apa rasanya jika setiap kebaikan yang kita lakukan dianggap sebagai bukan kebaikan, dan entah apa rasanya jika niat baik kita selalu dibenturkan dengan pertanyaan: “Niat baik Anda untuk siapa?”

Sore ini aku pulang seperti biasa, tak ada tanda-tanda bahwa akan ada yang aneh. Hanya saja langit yang muram tak henti-hentinya menabuh gemuruh dan hanya saja awan hitam yang sudah mondar-mandir kesal menunggu aba-aba dari cakrawala.

Di perjalanan aku hanya bisa membayangkan bisa cepat sampai rumah, mandi, makan malam dengan menu yang tak terduga, nonton super family di antv, makan gorengan mas Iyan atau bakso mas Yanto, main catur di laptop, membaca cerpen eksistensialismenya Iwan Simatupang, cerpen budayanya Putu Fajar Arcana, atau membaca karya Jenar Maesa Ayu yang kata-kata vulgarnya maur kemana-mana, membaca puisi-puisi Sitor Situmorang dan sajak sihir Sutardji Calzoum Bachri, dan seabreg keinginan yang mengantri ingin dikerjakan.

Merajut Cinta dengan Syariat Agama

Judul: Fiqih Cinta KasihRahasia Kebahagiaan Rumah Tangga
Judul Asli: Akhlak Al-Usrah Al-Muslimah Buhuts wa Fatawa
Penulis: Dr. M. Sayyid Ahmad Al-Musayyar
Penerjemah: Habiburrahim, Lc (Kuwais)
Editor: Achmad Ta’yudin, Fathurrahman Yahya
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2008
Volume: xxii+335

Sering orang berkata bahwa membina rumah tangga bukanlah persoalan yang mudah. Terkadang rumah tangga yang diharapkan dapat menciptakan kebahagiaan justru berbalik malah menciptakan malapetaka. Kenyataan ini bukanlah hisapan jempol belaka, karena banyak sekali dapat kita jumpai hancurnya satu keluarga yang diakibatkan oleh satu dan banyak sebab. Sehingga banyak orang yang beranggapan bahwa hidup sendiri lebih baik atau menjalin hubungan tidaklah perlu ikatan (pernikahan) supaya terbebas dari jeratan komitmen,  Dll.

Tasawuf Mendamaikan Dunia

Judul: Tasawuf Mendamaikan Dunia
Penulis: Media Zainul Bahri, MA
Editor: Khairi Rumantati, Sayed Mahdi
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2010
Halaman: xxxix+307


Dalam paradigma kekinian, seringkali orang ketika berhadapan dengan persoalan agama—misalnya perintah dan larangan Allah SWT yang kemudian menjelma menjadi amalan ibadah—cenderung menafsirkannya dengan penafsiran yang praktis, tunggal, dan sering kali mengabaikan sisi esensi dari persoalan tersebut, hasilnya  dalam memahami Islam seseorang selalu akan terjebak pada fomalisme beragama yang kerap berujung kepada pemahaman artifisial yang kemudian diejawantahkan dengan sebuah ibadah atau ritual rutinitas yang hampa.

Pencerahan Spiritualitas

Judul: Ramadhan dan Pencerahan Spiritual
Penulis: Muhammad Iqbal
Editor: Setya Bhawono, Singgih Agung
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2007
Halaman: xi+126


Bulan Ramadan selalu menjadi bulan yang paling di tunggu-tunggu. Pada bulan ini umat Islam seakan mendapatkan semangat baru untuk beribadah secara lebih intensif dan berlomba-lomba mendapatkan segala kemurahan, pahala yang berlipat ganda, dan pengampunan dari Allah. 

Keutamaan dan esensi puasa seseorang tidak terletak pada lapar dan dahaganya, tetapi pada dua hal, yaitu keimanan dan perhitungan. Keutamaan puasa juga terletak pada sejauh mana ia mampu menghadirkan Allah. Ibadah puasa merupakan proses penyucian hati dan penajaman jiwa.

Menjadi kekasih Allah

Judul: Jejak-jejak Wali Allah
Penulis: Muhammad Ibn Abi-Qasim al-Humairi
Penerjemah: Saiful Rahman Barito
Editor: Achmad Ta’yudin, Sayed Mahdi, Fathurrahman Yahya
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2009
Halaman: xii+424

Menyelami dunia Islam dengan segala aspek komponen yang dimilikinya, bagaikan menyelami luasnya samudera lautan, atau bagaikan mengarungi luasnya angkasa raya yang penuh dengan milyaran benda langit, begitu dalam, begitu panjang, begitu luas, begitu universal, itulah Islam begitu banyak ruang yang belum terbuka, belum terjamah, dan sampai saat ini masih menjadi misteri.

Menuju Jalan Lurus

Judul: Jalan Lurus; Bimbingan Membentuk Pribadi Muslim Sejati
Penulis: Firdaus, M.Ag
Editor: Achmad Ta’yudin
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2007
Halaman: xii+196

Menjadi pribadi muslim yang sejati adalah dambaan setiap insan yang memeluk agama Islam, predikat ini sering diidentikan dengan istilah Insan Kamil, di mana seorang muslim sudah dapat menerapkan pola hidupnya dengan nafas Al-Qur’an dan Hadis.

Tentang Haji dan Umrah

Desain Cover by: Yudi Nur Riyadi

Judul: Segala Hal Tentang Haji dan Umrah
Penulis: Tim Divaro Erlangga
Editor: Ali Nursidi,Hijrah S, Adhika Prasetya.
Penerbit: Erlangga, 2010
Volume: 184 Halaman

***
 

Kita tentu menyadari bahwa salahsatu aspek terpenting dalam memaknai sebuah ritual ibadah ialah memiliki pengetahuan yang memadai akan ibadah itu sehingga kita mampu menangkap arti penting atau signifikansi dari ibadah itu sendiri. Pelaksanaan ibadah tanpa disertai dengan pengetahuan tentangnya akan membawa âbid (orang yang beribadah) kepada pelaksanaan ritual ibadah secara motorik belaka tanpa adanya pemahaman dan penghayatan dari apa yang dimaksud dari (esensi) ibadah itu sendiri.

Kisah yang Menggugah

Judul: Memahat Kata Memugar Dunia, 101 Kisah yang Menggugah Pikiran
Peresensi:Retnadi Nur’aini
Editor: Ary Nilandari
Penerbit: Mizan Learning Centre
 

“Menulis adalah jantung dan jiwaku. Menulis menjadi sarana untuk menghidupkan kisah-kisahku. Tak ada yang lebih memuaskan ketimbang menggoreskan kata-kata di atas kertas dan mengetahui bahwa mereka akan membangkitkan emosi dan reaksi tertentu dari pembaca,” demikian pernyataan Christopher Paolini, penulis Eragon.

Islam dan Kekinian

Sumber: Kompas, 27 Oktober 2010
Judul Buku : Islam Dalam Berbagai Pembacaan Kontemporer
Peresensi  : Supriyadi
Penulis  : Tholhatul Choir dkk
Penerbit : Pustaka Pelajar, Yogyakarta
Cetakan  : Pertama, Desember 2009
Tebal  : xvi + 561 halaman

Kajian tentang Islam (Islamic Studies/Dirasah Islamiyyah) dewasa ini begitu diminati oleh berbagai pihak. Bukan hanya para cendekiawan muslim saja yang serius mengkaji Islam, akan tetapi juga orang-orang Barat non-Muslim juga menggeluti Islam sebagai obyek kajian. Namun demikian, bukan hanya kaum orientalis yang mengkaji Islam secara analisis, para cendekiawan pun tertarik dengan berbagai kajian Islam yang menyuguhkan berbagai disiplin keilmuan.

Dalam sejarahnya, kelimuan Islam telah berproses sedemikian rupa hingga memunculkan berbagai disiplin keilmuan yang mana dikaji dari berbagai pendekatan. Perkembangan keilmuan Islam telah diwarnai dengan berbagai realitas yang dengan jelas berpengaruh atau dipengaruhi oleh perubahan zaman menuju modernitas.

Analisis Semiotik

Mahasiswa, Polisi, dan Kekerasan: Analisis Semiotik terhadap Foto dalam Jurnal Fantasma 

Oleh:Makyun Subuki*

Latar Belakang

Indonesia barangkali merupakan negara yang cukup akrab dengan kekerasan, mulai dari pembantaian dukun santet, perang antarsuku, kerusuhan dan penjarahan, hingga bom bunuh diri. Bahkan, mahasiswa, sebagai lambang kaum terpelajar, sering menyuarakan pendapatnya melalui kekerasan, sehingga berakhir dengan bentrokan fisik dengan aparat. Begitu akrabnya kita dengan kekerasan, sehingga berita yang sehari-hari kita dapat tentang kekerasan, baik melalui televisi maupun melalui media cetak, tidak lagi terasa menyeramkan. Hal ini mungkin juga dapat berarti sebaliknya, bahwa berita kekerasan yang kita lihat dan baca sehari-hari telah menjadikan kita terbiasa dengan kekerasan.

Bayang-bayang PKI

 "Komunisme gagal, dan ada sebuah lelucon tentang itu. Saya mendengarnya di tepi Sungai Neva, Petersburg, di tahun 1990."

Di tepi bengawan yang membelah kota tua itu tertambat kapal penjelajah Aurora, yang sudah jadi sebuah museum. Tanggal 6 Nopember 1917, dari meriam kapal yang dikuasai para pelaut Bolsyewik ini, ditembakkanlah sebutir peluru kosong. Pasukan komunis pun menyerbu Istana Musim Dingin, tempat pemerintahan non-komunis yang dipimpin Kerensky berada. Kaum Bolsyewik menang, Kerensky lari, dan Rusia menjadi negeri komunis pertama di dunia.

Abstrak dan Konkret

Prosa dan Drama adalah dua gendre dari sastra yang memiliki keistimewaan masing-masing. Dalam prosa, semua elemen karakter (fikiran, perasaan dan perbuatan) disebutkan dan diterangkan dengan jelas, dengan detail, sehingga publik prosa (pembaca) hanya diberi ruang imajinasi yang bersifat individual, abstrak. Sedangkan dalam Drama...

Naskah Ilmu Hadis yang Tak Sudahsudah

Akhirnya naskah "Ilmu Hadis" karya Dr. Daniel Juned ini selesai juga! naskah yang menguras energi berpikir dan menguras emosi.
Sebegitukah naskah ini?? jelas "iya" pasalnya naskah itu sudah beberapa kali (lupa gak kehitung) editorial, setter, desain editorial, setter, desain, terus aja begitu.. udah diedit, masih aja ada yang salah.

Tentang Naskah Sahabat Syarif

Naskah yang ada di hadapan saya adalah naskah milik Moch. Syarif Hidayatullah seorang dosen linguistik di UIN Jakarta. Naskah ini diberi judul oleh Syarif dengan "Karunia Akal yang Sering Disia-siakan". Awalnya saya hanya melihat naskah ini sebagai naskah yang biasa-biasa saja, terlebih pada saat yang bersamaan saya juga harus mengedit naskah lainnya yaitu antara lain...

SINGING!!!!!

Nicolas:

It doesn't make any sense
This tragic ending
In spite of the evidence
There's something still missing

Heard some of the rumors told
A taste of one's wealth
Did Victoria wound his soul?
Did she bid him farewell?

Victoria:
One last time
We'll lay down today
One last time
Until we fade away
One last time
We'll lay down today
One last time
We slowly fade away

TENTANG ROKOK dan bahaya kebakaran hutan

8. Octavarium

[Music: Dream Theater]

[I. Someone Like Him] [0:00 ‒ 8:47]

[Lyrics: John Petrucci]

I never wanted to become someone like him so secure
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure I knew that
This was not for me
And I wanted so much more
Far beyond what I could see
So I swore that I'd
Never be someone like him

So many years have passed
Since I proclaimed
My independence
My mission
My aim
And my vision
So secure
Content to live each day like it's my last
It's wonderful to know
That I could be
Something more than what I dreamed
Far beyond what I could see
Still I swear that I'm
Missing out this time

As far as I could tell
There's nothing more I need
But still I ask myself
Could this be everything
Then all I swore
That I would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing
I wanted
To become
To be someone just like him

[II. Medicate (Awakening)] [8:48 ‒ 13:49]

[Lyrics: James LaBrie]

A Doctor sitting next to me
He asks me how I feel
Not sure I understand his questioning
He says I've been away a while
But thinks he has cured me
From a state of catatonic sleep

For 30 years
Where have I been
Eyes open
But not getting through to me

Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side effects appear
As my conscience slips away

Medicate me
Science failing
Conscience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening

A higher dosage he prescribes
But there's no guarantee
I feel it starting to take over me
I tell him not to be ashamed
There's no one who's to blame
A second shot
A brief awakening

I feel the relapse
Can't break free
Eyes open
But not getting through to me

[III. Full Circle] [13:50 – 16:36]

[Lyrics: Mike Portnoy]

Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper diem's ready
Jack the ripper Owens Wilson Phillips and my supper's ready
Lucy in the sky with diamond Dave's not here I come to save the
Day for nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again

Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound

Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle

Flying off the handle be careful with
That axe Eugene gene the dance machine
Messiah light my fire gabba gabba
Hey hey my my generation's home again

Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound

Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle

[IV. Intervals] [16:37 – 19:53]

[Lyrics: Mike Portnoy]

[Root]
Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath
Remove all obstacles from our path

[Second]
Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you

[Third]
Try to break through
Long to connect
Fall on deaf ears and failed muted breath

[Fourth]
Loyalty, trust, faith and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire

[Fifth]
Tortured Insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but no avail

[Sixth]
The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more

[Seventh]
Innocent victims of merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madmen's impulsive designs

[Octave]
Step after step
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it has become too late

Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium

[V. Razor's Edge] [19:54 ‒ 24:00]

[Lyrics: John Petrucci]

We move in circles
Balanced all the while
On a gleaming razor's edge

A perfect sphere
Colliding with our fate
This story ends where it began

7. Sacrificed Sons

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: James LaBrie]

[Begins with samples from 9/11]

Walls are closing
Anxiously
Channel surfing
Frantically

Burning City
Smoke and fire
Planes we're certain
Faith inspired

No clues
A complete surprise
Who'll be
Coming home tonight

Heads all turning
Towards the sky
Towers crumble
Heroes die

Who would wish this
On our people
And proclaim
That His will be done
Scriptures they heed have misled them
All praise their Sacrificed Sons

Teach them
What to think and feel
Your ways
So enlightening

Words they preach
I can't relate
If God's true Love
Are acts of Hate

God on High
Our mistakes
Will mankind be extinct?
There's no time to waste
Who serves the truth
For Heavens' sake

6. Never Enough

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: Mike Portnoy]

Cut myself open wide
Reach inside
Help yourself
To all I have to give
And then you help yourself again
And then complain that
You didn't like the way
I put the knife in wrong
You didn't like the way
My blood spilled on your brand new floor

What would you say
If I walked away
Would you appreciate
But then it'd be too late
Because I can only take so much of your ungrateful ways
Everything is never enough

Sacrifice my life
Neglect my kids and wife
All for you to be happy
All those sleepless nights
And countless fights to give you more
And then you say how dare that
I didn't write you back
I must be too good for you
I only care about myself

What would you say
If I walked away
Would you appreciate
But then it'd be too late
Because I can only take so much of your ungrateful ways
Everything is never enough

5. Panic Attack

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: John Petrucci]

All wound up
On the edge
Terrified

Sleep disturbed
Restless mind
Petrified

Bouts of fear
Permeate
All I see

Heightening
Nervousness
Threatens me

I am paralyzed
So afraid to die

Caught off guard
Warning signs
Never show

Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight

Rapid heartbeat pounding through my chest
Agitated body in distress
I feel like I'm in danger
Daily life is strangled by my stress

A stifling surge
Shooting through all my veins
Extreme apprehension
Suddenly I'm insane

Lost all hope for redemption
A grave situation desperate at best

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly reeling

Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety

Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium

Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety

Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium

4. I Walk Beside You

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: John Petrucci]

There's a story in your eyes
I can see the hurt behind your smile
For every sign I recognize
Another one escapes me

Let me know what plagues your mind
Let me be the one to know you best
Be the one to hold you up
When you feel like you're sinking

Tell me once again
What's beneath the pain you're feeling
Don't abandon me
Or think you can't be saved

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far
Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

Summon up your ghosts for me
Rest your tired thoughts upon my hands
Step inside this sacred place
When all your dreams seem broken

Resonate inside this temple
Let me be the one who understands
Be the one to carry you
When you can walk no further

Tell me once again
What's below the surface bleeding
If you've lost your way,
I will take you there

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far
Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

Oh, where everything is wrong
Oh, where hopelessness surrounds you
Oh, the sun will rise again
The tide you swim against
Will carry you back home
So don't give up
Don't give in

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far
Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

3. These Walls

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: John Petrucci]

This is so hard for me
To find the words to say
My thoughts are standing still

Captive inside of me
All emotions start to hide
And nothing's getting through

Watch me,
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts,
falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me,
To keep from sinking further
(I'm trying to find my way out,
Tear down these walls for me now)

So much uncertainty
I don't like this feeling
I'm sinking like a stone

Each time I try to speak
There's a voice I'm hearing
And it changes everything

Watch me,
Crawl from
The wreckage
Of my silence
Conversation
Failing

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me,
To keep from sinking further
(I'm trying to find my way out,
Take down these walls)

Everytime you choose to turn away
Is it worth the price you pay?
Is there someone who will wait for you
One more time? [x2]

Watch me,
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts,
Falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me,
To keep from sinking further
(I'm trying to find my way out,
Tear down these walls for me now)

Tear down these walls for me
It's not too late for me
Tear down these walls for me

2. The Answer Lies Within

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: John Petrucci]

Look around,
Where do you belong
Don't be afraid,
You are not the only one

Don't let the day go by,
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by in doubt,
The answer lies within

Life is short, so learn from your mistakes
And stand behind, the choices that you made
Face each day with both eyes open wide
And try to give, don't keep it all inside

Don't let the day go by
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by, in doubt,
The answer lies within

You've got the future on your side
You've gonna be fine now
I know whatever you decide
You are gonna shine!!! (shinee)

Don't let the day go by
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by, in doubt
You re ready to begin

Don't let a day go by in doubt
The answer lies within

1. The Root Of All Evil

[Music: Dream Theater, Lyrics: Mike Portnoy]

[VI. Ready]

Proud enough for you to call me arrogant
Greedy enough to be labeled a thief
Angry enough for me to go and hurt a man
Cruel enough for me to feel no grief

Never could have just a part of it
I always need more to get by
Getting right down to the heart of it
The root of all evil has been running my whole life

Dirty enough for me to lust
Leaving nothing left to trust
Jealous enough to still feel envious
Lazy enough to sleep all day
And let my life just waste away
Selfish enough to make you wait for me

Driven blindly by our sins
Misled so easily
Entirely ready to leave it behind
I'm begging to break free

Take all of me
The desires that keep burning deep inside
Cast them all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me be what I can be

[VII. Remove]

Self-centered fear has got a hold of me
Clutching my throat
Self righteous anger running all through me
Ready to explode

Procrastination paralyzing me
Wanting me dead
These obsessions that keep haunting me
Won't leave my head

Help to do for me what I can't do myself
Take this fear and pain
I can't break out this prison all alone
Help me break these chains

Humility now my only hope
Won't you take all of me
Heal this dying soul

I can feel my body breaking
I can feel my body breaking
I'm ready to let it all go
I can feel my body shaking
Right down to the foundation
The root of it all

Take all of me
The desires that keep burning deep inside
Cast it all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me what I can be
I am ready
Come to me
Take me away

[Dedicated to Bill W. and all of his friends]

7. In The Name Of God

[Lyrics by John Petrucci]

How can this be?
Why is he the chosen one?

Saint gone astray
With a scepter and a gun

Learn to believe
In the mighty and the strong

Come bleed the beast
Follow me it won't be long

Listen when the prophet
Speaks to you
Killing in the name of God

Passion
Twisting faith into violence
In the name of God

Straight is the path
Leading to your salvation
Slaying the weak
Ethnic elimination

Any day we'll all be
Swept away
You'll be saved
As long as you obey

Lies
Tools of the devil inside
Written in Holy disguise
Meant to deceive and divide
Us all

Listen when the prophet
Speaks to you
Killing in the name of God

Passion
Twisting faith into violence
In the name of God

Blurring the lines
Between virtue and sin
They can't tell
Where God ends
And mankind begins

They know no other
Life but this
From the cradle
They are claimed

Listen when the prophet
Speaks to you
Killing in the name of God

Passion
Twisting faith into violence
In the name of God

Hundreds of believers
Lured into a doomsday cult
All would perish
In the name of God

Self-proclaimed messiah
Led his servants
To their death
Eighty murdered
In the name of God

Forty sons and daughters
Un-consenting plural wives
Perversions
In the name of God

Underground religion
Turning toward
The mainstream light
Blind devotion
In the name of God

Justifying violence
Citing from the Holy Book
Teaching hatred
In the name of God

Listen when the prophet
Speaks to you
Killing in the name of God

Passion
Twisting faith into violence
In the name of God

Religious beliefs
Fanatic obsession
Does following faith
Lead us to violence?

Unyielding crusade
Divine revelation
Does following faith
Lead us to violence?

[Chant:]
Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the coming of the Lord
he is trampling out the vintage
where the grapes of wrath are stored
he hath loosed the fateful lightning
of his terrible swift sword
his truth is marching on.

glory, glory, hallelujah
glory, glory, hallelujah
glory, glory, hallelujah...

6. Stream Of Consciousness

[Instrumental]

5. Vacant

[Lyrics by James LaBrie]

Hey you, Hey you
I'm right here
Conscience fading
Can't get through

Oh Lord
Helpless
Confused
Head swayed
Eyes glazed
And mine teared

She's losing control
What can I do
Her vacant eyes
Black holes
Am I losing you

4. Honor Thy Father

[Lyrics by Mike Portnoy]

We're taught unconditional love
That blood is thicker than water
That a parent's world would revolve
Always around their son or their daughter

You pretend I was your own
And even believed that you loved me
But were always threatened by some
Invisible blood line that only you could see

You took advantage of an outreached hand
And twisted it to meet your every need
'Gimme time to re-charge my batteries,
I'll see her when she's older and I'll bounce her on my knee'

Well listen to me you ungrateful fool
Here comes a dose of reality
You'll go to your grave a sad and lonely man
The door is now closed on your pathetic little plan

On and on and on and on it goes
It's so easy to run away with nothing in tow

How can you ever sleep a wink at night
Pretending that everything is alright
And have the nerve to blame this mess on me

Never in my life have I seen someone
So Ignorant to the damage he has done
You're the rotted root in the family tree

I tried your 4 bill therapy
I tried to make amends
But nothing could lure you out of your selfish shell again
Expecting everyone to bow and kiss your feet
Don't you see respect is not a one way street
Blaming everyone for all that you've don e wrong
I'll get my peace of mind when you hear this song

On and on and on and on it goes
And with every passing day true colors show

How can you ever sleep a wink at night
Pretending that everything is alright
And have the balls to blame this mess on me

Never in my life have I seen someone
Oblivious to the damage he has done
You're the rotted root in the family tree

Watch where you walk
Don't you dare cross the crooked step
Watch the way you talk
Don't cross the crooked step

[spoken:]
"This is a regret that you make"
"we're still connected"
"This is a regret that you make-"
"I want my family back"
"-and there's something you take"
"You can't have it. I'm sorry for you, but it's too late..."
"Mistakes like this...You don't make"
"Can't you see anything except in terms of how it affects you?"
"You make some...And they'll get to you"
"You don't love anybody"
"I gave you money, I gave you a car, I took you in-"
It's not OK, son"
"-but don't that mean something?"
"Do I admire people too much?"
"No...You should do better"
"That disappoints you..."
"God damn regrets!"
"You deserve to die alone for what you have done!"
GOD DAMN REGRETS!"
"Don't deny it"
"You cocksucker, I know you're here."
"Don't deny it"
"I want you to know I hate your fucking guts."
"The biggest regret in my life"
"I wish you'd fucking die."
"I've let my love go"
"I'm your blood...I'm your family"
"Is that you?"
You're not my family, not anymore"
"The fucking regrets!"
"When your own flesh and blood renounces you..."
"What did I do?"
"...you have no choice but to renounce them."
"WHAT DID I DO?"

On and on and on and on it goes
Chauvinistic, heartless, selfish, cold

How can you ever sleep a wink at night
Pretending that everything is alright
And have the balls to blame this shit on me

Never in my life have I seen someone
So fucking blind to the damage he has done
You're the rotted root in the family tree

3. Endless Sacrifice

[Lyrics by John Petrucci]

Cold
Lying in my bed
Staring into darkness

Lost
I hear footsteps overhead
And my thoughts return
Again

Like a child who's run away
And won't be coming back
Time keeps passing by
As night turns into day

I'm so far away
And so alone
I need to see your face
To keep me sane
To make we whole

Try to stay alive
Until I hear your voice
I'm gonna lose my mind
Someone tell me why
I chose this life
This superficial lie
Constant compromise
Endless sacrifice

Pain
It saddens me to know
The helplessness you feel
Your light
Shines on my soul
While a thousand candles
Burn

Outside this barren room
The rain is pouring down
The emptiness inside
Is growing deeper still

You're so far away
And so alone
You long for love's embrace
To keep you sane
To make you whole

Try to stay alive
Until I hear your voice
I'm gonna lose my mind

Someone tell me why
I chose this life
This superficial lie
Constant compromise
Endless sacrifice

Moments wasted
Isolated
Time escaping
Endless sacrifice

Moments wasted
Isolated
Time escaping
Endless sacrifice

Over the distance
We try to make sense
Of surviving together
While living apart

Striving for balance
We rise to the challenge
Of staying connected
In spite of circumstance

All you've forsaken
And all that you've done
So that I could live out
This undying dream

Won't be forgotten
Or taken for granted
I'll always remember
Your endless sacrifice

Moments wasted
Isolated
Time escaping
Endless sacrifice

Moments wasted
Isolated
Time escaping
Endless sacrifice

2. This Dying Soul

[Lyrics by Mike Portnoy]

[IV. Reflections of Reality (Revisited)]

Hello, Mirror - so glad to see you my friend, it's been a while
Searching, Fearless - where do I begin to heal this wound of self-denial

Face yourself man!
Brace yourself and trace your hell back

You've been blinded, living lie a one way cold existence all the while
Now it's time to stare the problem right between the eyes you long lost child

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change to fix this dying soul

Born into this world a broken home
Surrounded by love yet all alone
Forced into a life that's split in two
A mother and a father both pulling you

Then you had to deal with loss and death
Everybody thinking they know best
Coping with this shit at such an age
Can only fill a kid with pain and rage

Family disease pumped through your blood
Never had the chance you thought you could
Running all the while with no escape
Turning all that pain in to blame and hate

Living on your own by twenty one
Not a single care and having fun
Consuming all the life in front of you
Burning out the fuse and smoking the residue

Possessive obsessions selfish childish games
Vengeful resentments
Passing all the blame
Living out a life of decadence
Acing without thought of consequence
Spreading all your lies from coast to coast
While spitting on the ones that matter most

Running power mad with no control
Fighting for the credit they once stole
No one can ever tell you what to do
Ruling other's lives while the can't stand the thought of you

A living reflection seen from miles away
A hopeless affliction having run astray

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change to fix this dying soul

Now that you can see all you have done
It's time to take that step into the kingdom
All your sins will only make you strong
And help you break right through the prison wall

[V. Release]

Come to me my friend (Listen to me)
I'll help this torture end (Help to set me free)
Let your ego go (I can't carry this load)
You can't go through this alone (I feel so hopeless and exposed)
You'll find your peace of mind (Give me some direction)
You can no longer hide (Break out of this isolation)
Let humility (Openness, honesty)
And become what you can be (A healing tranquility)

Help me
Save me
Heal me
I can't break out of this prison all alone

These tormenting ghosts of yesterday
Will vanish when exposed
You can't hold onto your secrets
They'll only send you back alone

Your fearless admissions
Will help expel your destructive obsessions
With my help I know you can
Be at one with God and man

Hear me
Believe me
Take me
I'm ready to break right through this prison wall

Dedicated to Bill W. and all of his friends

1. As I Am

[Lyrics by John Petrucci]

Don't
Tell me what's in
Tell me how to write
Don't tell me how to win
This fight
Isn't your life
It isn't your right
To take the only thing that's
Mine

Proven over time
It's over your head
Don't try to read between the
Lines
Are clearly defined
Never lose sight of
Something you believe in

Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog

I've been trying to justify you
In the end I will just defy you

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, Take me as I am

As I am

Still
Running uphill
Swimming against the current
I wish I weren't so
Fucked
Feels like I'm stuck
Lost in a sea of mediocrity

''Slow down,
You're thinking too much
Where is your soul?''
You cannot touch
The way I
Play
Or tell me what to say
You're in the way
Of all that I believe in

Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog
I've been wasting my breath on you
Open minds will descend upon you

To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, take me as I am

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6. The Count Of Tuscany

[Music by Petrucci, Portnoy, Rudess and Myung, Lyrics by John Petrucci]

Several years ago
In a foreign town
Far away from home
I met the Count of Tuscany

A young eccentric man
Bred from royal blood
Took me for a ride
Across the open countryside

Get into my car
Let's go for a drive
Along the way
I'll be your guide
Just step inside

Maybe you recall
A cannibal curator
A character inspired by my brother's life

Winding through the hills
The city far behind
On and on we drove
Down narrow streets and dusty roads

At last we came upon
A picturesque estate
On sprawling emerald fields
An ancient world of times gone by

Let me introduce
My brother
A bearded gentleman
Historian
Sucking on his pipe
Distinguished accent
Making me uptight
No accident

I want to stay alive
Everything about this place
Just doesn't feel right
I
I don't want to die

Suddenly I'm frightened for my life

I want to say goodbye
This could be the last time
You see me alive

I-
I may not survive
Knew it from the moment we arrived

Would you like to see
Our secret holy place?
I come here late at night
To pray to him by candle light

Then peering through the glass
I saw with disbelief
Still dressed in royal clothes
The saint behind the altar

History recalls
During times of war
Legend has been traced
Back inside these castle walls

Where soldiers came to hide
In barrels filled with wine
Never to escape
These tombs of oak are where they died

Down the cellar stairs
I disappear
Like the English heir
The end is near

Come and have a taste
A rare vintage
All the finest wines
Improve with age

I want to stay alive
Everything about this place
Just doesn't feel right
I
I don't want to die
Suddenly I'm frightened for my life

I want to say goodbye
This could be the last time
You see me alive

I
I may not survive
Knew it from the moment we arrived

Could this be the end?
Is this the way I die?
Sitting here alone
No one by my side

I don't understand
I don't feel that I deserve this
What did I do wrong?
I just don't understand

Give me one more chance
Let me please explain
It's all been circumstance
I'll tell you once again

You took me for a ride
Promising a vast adventure
Next thing that I know
I'm frightened for my life

Now wait a minute man
That's not how it is
You must be confused
That isn't who I am

Please don't be afraid
I would never try to hurt you
This is how we live
Strange although it seems
Please try to forgive

The chapel and the saint
The soldiers and the wine
The fables and the tales
All handed down through time

Of course you're free to go
Go and tell the world my story
Tell about my brother
Tell them about me
The Count of Tuscany...

5. The Best Of Times

[Music by Petrucci, Portnoy, Rudess and Myung, Lyrics by Mike Portnoy]

Remember days of yesterday
How it flew so fast
The two score and a year we had,
I thought it would always last
Those summer days and west coast dreams
I wished would never end
A young boy and his father,
Idol and best friend

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
A lifetime together
I'll never forget

The morning shows on the radio
The case of the missing dog
Lying on the pillows at the old 812
Watching Harold and Maude
The record shops, the stickball fields
My home away from home
And when we weren't together
The hours on the phone

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
I'll cherish them forever
The best of times

But then came the call
Our lives changed forever more
"You can pray for a change
But prepare for the end..."

The fleeting winds of time
Flying through each day
All the things I should've done
But time just slipped away
Remember seize the day
Life goes by in the blink of an eye
With so much left to say

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for the smiles
All the unconditional love
That carried me for miles
It carried me for miles
But most of all thank you for my life

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day
My heart is bleeding bad
But I'll be OK
Your spirit guides my life each day

[In Loving Memory of Howard Portnoy 1940-2009]

4. The Shattered Fortress

[Music by Petrucci, Portnoy, Rudess and Myung, Lyrics by Mike Portnoy]

[X. Restraint]

Freedom calls my name
Serenity keeps me sane
Happiness -- it dulls the pain

Honest to see my place
Open to other ways
Willingness to understand

Justice but do not judge
Courtesy for others' flaws
Kindness -- it's not that hard

Self-restraint of tongue and pen
Inventory -- my daily friend
Analysis let down your guard

Look in the mirror
What do you see?
The shattered fortress
That once bound me

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I've found the path to take me higher

You're smart enough for me to trust go live your life now
Just keep these steps in your life and you'll know how
If you're not sure, ask yourself,
"Have I done to them as I would have them do to me?"

Look in the mirror
What's that you see?
The shattered fortress
Fly now be free

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I've found the path to take me higher

I once thought it better to be right
But now I have finally seen the light
Sometimes you've got to be wrong
And learn from mistakes
I live with serenity now
Not self-righteous hate

[XI. Receive]

(Help me be a channel of Thy peace
That where there is hatred, I may bring love;
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
That where there is error, I may bring truth;
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith)

Now that you can see all you have done
(That where there is despair, I may bring hope;
That where there are shadows, I may bring light)

It's time to take that step into the kingdom
(That where there is sadness, I may bring joy)

All your sins will help to make you strong
(That I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
That I may seek to understand than to be understood)

And help you break right through the prison wall
(That I may seek to love, rather than to be loved,
for it is by self-forgetting that one finds,
it is by forgiving that one is forgiven)

Keep all of me,
The desires that once burned me deep inside
Help me live today
And help to give me grace
To carry out your way

I am ready, help me be all I can be
I am ready, help guide me and keep me free

[XII. Responsible]

I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there
I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there

[Dedicated to Bill W. and all of his friends]